Chris Brogan recently posted Quid Pro No. The situation is simple:

If I invite you to join the Facebook group for Trust Agents, it’s because I think you’ll get some value out of participating there. Say you join the group. If you now invite me to join your real estate company’s fan page after you’ve joined my book’s group, what should I do? Should I say yes because you said yes to me? But I have no interest in real estate, except for when I’m making a transaction. I was asked to join someone’s new social media application, but because I have a lot of stuff on the go, I politely declined. What I got back as a parting shot was, “Thanks. I’ll still buy your book.” It left me feeling a bit awkward. Do we expect reciprocal behavior all the time? ~ Chris Brogan

The reactions are too  familiar and typical.

The problem is that we’ve set our emotions on a throne and made them King. “Don’t offend, always reciprocate, be politically correct, neutralize the deposition, etc.” – these prerequisites govern the everyday thoughts, speech, and behaviors of so many people online and offline.  And God forbid that we not adhere to the selfish guidelines of “for every action there should be an equal reaction” within social circles – or else people start acting like a bunch of five-year-olds when their expectations are not met.

Here’s a simple solution to those who cannot accept a “no”

1. Reset your expectations – take a look at what you’re expecting of others and whether these expectations are realistic or not.
2. Stop acting like a child – just grow up! If someone does not meet your expectations, or reciprocate your kind gesture – don’t whine and pout.
3. De-throne your emotions – stop living your life though the lens of your emotions.

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